Fighting to stay positive...

There are so many things going on right now that it is unbelievable and very overwhelming... don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for all that we have and for all the things going on in our life... we are very blessed and know that we are and thank God every day. I guess it is the insane amount of raging hormones going through my body, but I am more emotional than I have ever been. It is so weird and crazy and frustrating. I am just trying to focus on all the wonderful things in our life like feeling Logan kick or seeing him (which we go tomorrow) and just being able to spend time with my family (William and the dogs) ... It is so hard sometimes to stay focused on all the wonderful things and not worry about the bad things that we are working to fix, but still linger (i.e. finances, all the things the warranty company needs to fix with the house, etc)... Every time I get down I just look to the Lord for I know he has a plan and everything will work out according to His will and His time frame... not mine or anyone else around me (it is really hard not to compare myself to others around and that is one thing I am really working on)... The more books I read and the further along I get, I really do believe what they all say... unless you have been pregnant or have a child it is very hard to understand what pregnant people or people with children are and will be going through. I can tell a lot of things have already changed for us (in a good way) and some days are just harder than others. Jenny McCarthy wrote two books that I have read so far, "Belly Laughs" and "Baby Laughs" which are both amazing books. She shoots straight with how she describes what is going on during pregnancy and the first year of mommyhood. The pregnancy book totally describes most the things that go on that no one tells you about and you think you are weird or some horrible person for experiencing. It has definitely helped me and I am trying to get William to read the books too... Though it was just a book, I finally felt like I had someone to understand all the crazy and weird things that are going on with me emotionally and physically... all the things that are so depressing that you try and fight off but sometimes the depressing feelings and thoughts prevail (not that anyone with this many hormones can really help the way they feel)! I guess what I am trying to say is even the people that know me the best really have no idea what I am going through or how I feel (which is my fault, I just don't share everything, for that would be a huge conversation and probably not a cheerful uplifting one) and so though I am trying really hard to not complain about things and to have a positive outlook, sometimes it is just not that way and it is incredibly hard to hide... so if I seem distant or ill, I do apologize and from what I hear, that will all go away and I will be back to normal approximately 3 months after delivery. I hope and pray no one takes anything I do or say (that is negative) personally... just blame it on the pregnancy or the crazy pregnant lady!