*Caveat* most of this is from Beth's Esther Bible Study added with my own words, comments.
I know that typical "mom" conversation is usually how messy we feel our houses are (even if they aren't that bad), or how we have a super-long list of things we need to get accomplished. Well, this week's homework for Esther spoke some about that and just thought I would share a little...
Beth starts out saying, Do you happen to struggle with perfectionism and perhaps could use a little misnistry? Do you feel if you can't do something to perfection, you ought not bother? [This just spoke to me.. YES! I am raising my hand in my cubicle at work! Ummmm yes, mama Beth, That is me!] She shares that God has opened her eyes to the stronghold of perfectionism through loved ones who share their struggle. It's not only painful, it can be debilitating. [MMMKKK hello! So true! Sitting here thinking, is this woman omniscient? Well, no but all my life I was expected to do my best but I think that the way it was said or the way in which it was presented that I was expected to get As or all As and Bs or be on honor roll, etc. Thus sparking the perfectionism "gene" within me. It is not good and it is VERY painful and debilitating. It eats me away duirng the day with to-do lists of EVERY nook and cranny of my life that needs to be cleaned and conquered and when I get home that comes to fruition. It DRIVES my husband crazy. He can't stand that I am a multi-tasking fool and can pick up toys, do laundry and organize all at the same time (please don't mistake this for a gold-medal showing, this is embarassing/ a flaw) all while nitpicking everything else along the way. He just begs me to sit down and watch a show or movie with him. It is the perfection disease that TELLS me and makes me not be able to do it. I have come a VERY long way over the past few months but it is a constant battle that the LORD and I are working on. It is UNHEALTHY and there is no gerater thing than Him and my Family. I am only sharing this as it is something God has been working on with me, the journey is not over and just thought it fit since this is what Beth was tying in to in the Bible study. Also, others may have similar issues and knowing others are fighting, and succeeding with Him is such great Glory to God... and having 20 more minutes with family instead of cleaning is 20 more minutes you will never get back with your family and an hour later you house will be a mess again!]
One of the "personal questions" she has in the book is to list ways a continued stonghold of perfectionism could be a severe detriment to your destiny. Well, in just my one tiny example, I believe that by serving our worldly posessions and material things, we could loose sight of Him. She goes on to say (and I totally agree) that I'm not suggesting we shouldn't do our best. (like trying to have a clean house, be super-mom, etc.) I'm simply saying that sometimes just surviving certain tasks without falling apart IS our best and in those times God is not ashamed of our performance. [Big examples of this are between me and Him but I am sure each of us have these examples. Heck, sometimes I feel like those "surviving certain tasks" is simply getting out of bed, taking a shower, getting ready, getting logan ready, getting him to Gina's, driving an hour and 15minutes one-way to work, working a 9hr day, getting in the car, driving an hour and 15minutes back home, getting logan, and FINALLY being able to spend an hour and a half or so with my son before he goes to bed. Now I listed this series of events not by any means to "this or that or whatever you want to call it" but simply to show my typical day and to highlight that we all totally get the "surviving" part and how often I think I loose sight of that not only in myself but in fellow sisters of Christ. Sometimes I get too depresed and sometimes I rejoice but "even though this earth may scorn and mock us, we've been seated with Christ in the heavenly realms." He is proud of us for fighting overwhelming human emotion to do His will. God isn't interested in our stellar performance but in our hearts. He loves our willingness and obedience despite our insecurites. How awesome and amazing to think and cherish- he loves us no matter what! Which brings me to my ending point which I know this post is so random and crazy and such but my memory verse for this week is the following and it has been everywhere... I have heard it in songs on the radio, seen it in other things, etc. and, I think it ties in to what I feel/ have been trying to say... When I am so stressed because I feel the house is not perfectly spotless, the laundry is not all done, I feel my to-do list is not checked off enough, I simply just remind myself of this verse. I know He is with me. He is guiding me. If I focus too much on all that other stuff and not Him, I will miss the direction to which He is trying to guide me. I will miss my little blessing that He placed in my hands take his car and roll it on the floor and say "vroom vroom" last night. I would have missed all that because there was some tidy-ing up that could have been done. How foolish to miss my destiny, my direction in life, my next step because I was not looking to Him, but to the earthy posessions that don't matter....
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth!" Psalm 121:1-2 NIV
I know that typical "mom" conversation is usually how messy we feel our houses are (even if they aren't that bad), or how we have a super-long list of things we need to get accomplished. Well, this week's homework for Esther spoke some about that and just thought I would share a little...
Beth starts out saying, Do you happen to struggle with perfectionism and perhaps could use a little misnistry? Do you feel if you can't do something to perfection, you ought not bother? [This just spoke to me.. YES! I am raising my hand in my cubicle at work! Ummmm yes, mama Beth, That is me!] She shares that God has opened her eyes to the stronghold of perfectionism through loved ones who share their struggle. It's not only painful, it can be debilitating. [MMMKKK hello! So true! Sitting here thinking, is this woman omniscient? Well, no but all my life I was expected to do my best but I think that the way it was said or the way in which it was presented that I was expected to get As or all As and Bs or be on honor roll, etc. Thus sparking the perfectionism "gene" within me. It is not good and it is VERY painful and debilitating. It eats me away duirng the day with to-do lists of EVERY nook and cranny of my life that needs to be cleaned and conquered and when I get home that comes to fruition. It DRIVES my husband crazy. He can't stand that I am a multi-tasking fool and can pick up toys, do laundry and organize all at the same time (please don't mistake this for a gold-medal showing, this is embarassing/ a flaw) all while nitpicking everything else along the way. He just begs me to sit down and watch a show or movie with him. It is the perfection disease that TELLS me and makes me not be able to do it. I have come a VERY long way over the past few months but it is a constant battle that the LORD and I are working on. It is UNHEALTHY and there is no gerater thing than Him and my Family. I am only sharing this as it is something God has been working on with me, the journey is not over and just thought it fit since this is what Beth was tying in to in the Bible study. Also, others may have similar issues and knowing others are fighting, and succeeding with Him is such great Glory to God... and having 20 more minutes with family instead of cleaning is 20 more minutes you will never get back with your family and an hour later you house will be a mess again!]
One of the "personal questions" she has in the book is to list ways a continued stonghold of perfectionism could be a severe detriment to your destiny. Well, in just my one tiny example, I believe that by serving our worldly posessions and material things, we could loose sight of Him. She goes on to say (and I totally agree) that I'm not suggesting we shouldn't do our best. (like trying to have a clean house, be super-mom, etc.) I'm simply saying that sometimes just surviving certain tasks without falling apart IS our best and in those times God is not ashamed of our performance. [Big examples of this are between me and Him but I am sure each of us have these examples. Heck, sometimes I feel like those "surviving certain tasks" is simply getting out of bed, taking a shower, getting ready, getting logan ready, getting him to Gina's, driving an hour and 15minutes one-way to work, working a 9hr day, getting in the car, driving an hour and 15minutes back home, getting logan, and FINALLY being able to spend an hour and a half or so with my son before he goes to bed. Now I listed this series of events not by any means to "this or that or whatever you want to call it" but simply to show my typical day and to highlight that we all totally get the "surviving" part and how often I think I loose sight of that not only in myself but in fellow sisters of Christ. Sometimes I get too depresed and sometimes I rejoice but "even though this earth may scorn and mock us, we've been seated with Christ in the heavenly realms." He is proud of us for fighting overwhelming human emotion to do His will. God isn't interested in our stellar performance but in our hearts. He loves our willingness and obedience despite our insecurites. How awesome and amazing to think and cherish- he loves us no matter what! Which brings me to my ending point which I know this post is so random and crazy and such but my memory verse for this week is the following and it has been everywhere... I have heard it in songs on the radio, seen it in other things, etc. and, I think it ties in to what I feel/ have been trying to say... When I am so stressed because I feel the house is not perfectly spotless, the laundry is not all done, I feel my to-do list is not checked off enough, I simply just remind myself of this verse. I know He is with me. He is guiding me. If I focus too much on all that other stuff and not Him, I will miss the direction to which He is trying to guide me. I will miss my little blessing that He placed in my hands take his car and roll it on the floor and say "vroom vroom" last night. I would have missed all that because there was some tidy-ing up that could have been done. How foolish to miss my destiny, my direction in life, my next step because I was not looking to Him, but to the earthy posessions that don't matter....
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth!" Psalm 121:1-2 NIV
LOVE this post & SO true! ALL women/moms could be reminded of this everyday (including me)! Love you!
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome!!! Thanks for the post!!! Love Ya!
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