So, this may just come across as venting, and, I hope it does not but I have this boss that every few days- maybe once a week he will say, "Tori, are you smiling?" or "I don't see you smiling" ... and, I think he is saying it to try and be funny or whatnot but it is not funny. It bothers me and irritates me. I am at my computer- working and I am not going to smile/ laugh at my computer for 10 hours on the chance that he may walk by and see me. I am minding my own business (there has been a ton of stuff going on) and I just want to do what needs to be done and call it a day. My co-workers and I cut - up and laugh and carry on through out the day, especially the girl next to me, so it really is inaccurate that I don't smile because we are usually laughing and such. So, I guess the first point is that it irritates me that he keeps going on about me not smiling because I don't want that to be my impression. I want God's aweomeness to shine. The second thing which is really the point to this post is that we (Him/ my boss) have NO idea what someone is going through on a daily basis. Let's use me as an example, because I don't mind being an example for a learning experience. Just picture someone in your life. The person at work, at church, the dinner table, waitress, post office, drive-thru, etc. Think of that person. You may say- "I don't like their attitude towards me" "I don't like how they took my money" "I don't like how the wal-mart lady bagged my groceries" etc, etc. For illustration, let's just look at my typical day, which I am sure is not too far from some other people's typical day (well, it may be a little bit more or a little less depending on who you are...) then, think about it for a second- let it simmer for a bit...
Here is my typical day.
1) wake up at 5am in pain
2) get up, make it to the shower, pray, get Logan up and to Gina's, get on the road to work (hopefully) by 6ish
3) Make it to work by 7am
4) Work a 10hr day (in pain- remember you have "stuff" )
5) Praise God! You made it! Leave to travel home! takes about 1hr 1/2 get home about 630pm-7pm depending on traffic
The "Stuff"
1) Work: Work is difficult for several reasons- for me personally it is hard leaving Logan and I basically wake up in pain and am in pain throughout the day. That makes it hard to concentrate, enjoy things, and the 2 1/2- 3 hour commute is unreal sometimes.
2) PCOS: Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome- you can google it, etc. I have known that I have this since middle school. Basically it is multiple cysts on your ovaries. Not fun. Painful and they burst. I have had multiple burst.
3) Endometriosis: you can google this as well. This I found out after the PCOS, had my first surgery in 2008 and the second in 2012. This and PCOS individually cause infertiliy so you can imagine how they are together. The best time to conceive is after having surgery (which I had July 2012)...
4) Infertility: I think I knew ever since middle school when the drs said it could be an issue that at some point in my life it would. Just a gut feeling. Then we had Logan and it was a surprise so I guess now is that time that my gut was previously feeling. We had been trying to get pregnant since Dec. 2011. Then, they found a polyp on my uterus that had to be removed so that had to be removed regardless. While he was in there doing that, they went ahead and did the endometriosis/ ovarian drilling surgery (to help infertility with PCOS/ Endo) so Infertility is NOT fun.
5) Migraines: Chronic migraines is so NOT fun. It is a part of my life that for what ever reason God has graced me with. I wake up in pain almost every day and go to sleep in almost as much pain. You name the "remedy" or whatnot and I have probably tried it or taken it. Migraines are no joke and sometimes I literally do not know how I get to work- I don't remember how I get to work- I just get there and I thank and praise God that I do!
6) Other life. Then, you have all other day to day life. Everything else going on that you are thinking about, praying about, things that come up, lunches you have to pack, appointments you have to make, appointments you go to, bills to pay, places you would rather be like church so you think about it and plan for children's church and you pray for people and friends at church or work etc, etc.
OK so here is the basis of my life... the everyday life of me. Even my "work" day consists of #1- #6. So, that considered here is my point. You NEVER know what people are going through. I may be sitting here at my computer not smiling like my boss chooses to point out. But, it may be because I am in so much pain that I can barely see and I don't want to stand up because I am afraid I may not make it to the bathroom to cry- but what would crying do? It would only make it worse! The point of all this is it is NOT about me (even though this illustration was technically about me that was not the point) When I feel like saying to myself or my husband, "Geez what is with her attitude" to the lady at the checkout, maybe I should stop for a second and literally try to find out what is with her attitude. Could it be that she is in pain? Could it be that she lost a family member? Could it be that she is lost? Maybe if my boss would stop for a second and quit trying to do whatever it is he is doing (I kinda feel like he is trying to make me feel bad) he would realize that a lot of us are hurting.
There are a lot of people we come in to contact with every day that are hurting, that just want someone to listen to them, to brighten their day. We can do that! We know exactly how! We have the tools (the Bible), the right leader (God) and all we have to do is listen and let Him lead the way. People are more than willing to talk and tell you anything (usually) all you have to do is ask! Next time you think someone is rude to you, the teller is snippy or the waitress is short, maybe ask if there is anything you can do for them! Then, most people LOVE to talk and with God leading, you just never know what a little LOVE can do!
Here is my typical day.
1) wake up at 5am in pain
2) get up, make it to the shower, pray, get Logan up and to Gina's, get on the road to work (hopefully) by 6ish
3) Make it to work by 7am
4) Work a 10hr day (in pain- remember you have "stuff" )
5) Praise God! You made it! Leave to travel home! takes about 1hr 1/2 get home about 630pm-7pm depending on traffic
The "Stuff"
1) Work: Work is difficult for several reasons- for me personally it is hard leaving Logan and I basically wake up in pain and am in pain throughout the day. That makes it hard to concentrate, enjoy things, and the 2 1/2- 3 hour commute is unreal sometimes.
2) PCOS: Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome- you can google it, etc. I have known that I have this since middle school. Basically it is multiple cysts on your ovaries. Not fun. Painful and they burst. I have had multiple burst.
3) Endometriosis: you can google this as well. This I found out after the PCOS, had my first surgery in 2008 and the second in 2012. This and PCOS individually cause infertiliy so you can imagine how they are together. The best time to conceive is after having surgery (which I had July 2012)...
4) Infertility: I think I knew ever since middle school when the drs said it could be an issue that at some point in my life it would. Just a gut feeling. Then we had Logan and it was a surprise so I guess now is that time that my gut was previously feeling. We had been trying to get pregnant since Dec. 2011. Then, they found a polyp on my uterus that had to be removed so that had to be removed regardless. While he was in there doing that, they went ahead and did the endometriosis/ ovarian drilling surgery (to help infertility with PCOS/ Endo) so Infertility is NOT fun.
5) Migraines: Chronic migraines is so NOT fun. It is a part of my life that for what ever reason God has graced me with. I wake up in pain almost every day and go to sleep in almost as much pain. You name the "remedy" or whatnot and I have probably tried it or taken it. Migraines are no joke and sometimes I literally do not know how I get to work- I don't remember how I get to work- I just get there and I thank and praise God that I do!
6) Other life. Then, you have all other day to day life. Everything else going on that you are thinking about, praying about, things that come up, lunches you have to pack, appointments you have to make, appointments you go to, bills to pay, places you would rather be like church so you think about it and plan for children's church and you pray for people and friends at church or work etc, etc.
OK so here is the basis of my life... the everyday life of me. Even my "work" day consists of #1- #6. So, that considered here is my point. You NEVER know what people are going through. I may be sitting here at my computer not smiling like my boss chooses to point out. But, it may be because I am in so much pain that I can barely see and I don't want to stand up because I am afraid I may not make it to the bathroom to cry- but what would crying do? It would only make it worse! The point of all this is it is NOT about me (even though this illustration was technically about me that was not the point) When I feel like saying to myself or my husband, "Geez what is with her attitude" to the lady at the checkout, maybe I should stop for a second and literally try to find out what is with her attitude. Could it be that she is in pain? Could it be that she lost a family member? Could it be that she is lost? Maybe if my boss would stop for a second and quit trying to do whatever it is he is doing (I kinda feel like he is trying to make me feel bad) he would realize that a lot of us are hurting.
There are a lot of people we come in to contact with every day that are hurting, that just want someone to listen to them, to brighten their day. We can do that! We know exactly how! We have the tools (the Bible), the right leader (God) and all we have to do is listen and let Him lead the way. People are more than willing to talk and tell you anything (usually) all you have to do is ask! Next time you think someone is rude to you, the teller is snippy or the waitress is short, maybe ask if there is anything you can do for them! Then, most people LOVE to talk and with God leading, you just never know what a little LOVE can do!
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